The Travel of Trust

Home again, feeling a little energized to type away on my keyboard. Monday morning at 8a.m. I was wheeled into the operating theater at University Hospital for probable robotic surgery on my right kidney .  Just to recap (cue the flashbacks), I was driving my bus in late June, early morning, trying to talk myself into ignoring this latest bladder infection and telling myself, I could finish this shift. There comes a point when pain takes over your mental capacity and driving a beast with morning commuters counting on your skills, is just not a good mix. I called into dispatch to relieve me and have an inspector (thank you, Paul) to take me to emerge to get this latest bout fixed once and for all. I was given an expected diagnosis of a UTI but there was something not quite right in some of the tests. I was given more tests and about 10 hours later, I was given a diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma (cancerous tumour on the right kidney) plus enlarged lymph nodes and a possible mass on

According to a countdown timer, I have 5 days, 6 hours and 15 minutes until I report for surgery - not that I'm counting. Actually, I am not counting down the hours or days but trying to get as much done as I can beforehand. Some days are not long enough and when I close the blinds in the evening, I think, "now, another day done...did I use the hours wisely?" Probably not because I start late due to sleeping late the night before which puts me behind all day. What is the deal on insomnia? “O sleep, O gentle sleep, Nature's soft nurse, how have I frightened thee. That thou no more will weigh my eyelids down, And steep my senses in forgetfulness?” ― William Shakespeare   It's not like I am worried about this surgery. Worry and anxiety are not the cause. I just lay down and suddenly my brain comes alive with the activities, conversations, and jobs done that day. Things I would like to do for Thanksgiving, Christmas, getting back to work, go

I got the news this morning that I have a date on September 24. I won't be wined and dined and I plan to wear a hospital gown as I plan to be sliced and diced. I have to report for this date at 6 am in University Hospital on that Monday morning. Finally, we can get moving on this. I am relieved to have a date as last night was not a good night. I was up for most of it with pain. I upped the dosage around 5 am and was able to sleep again. I am now dozy but the pain is once again manageable. Wish I knew what the cause was but maybe surgery will reveal that. Summer is wrapping up. The sounds of planes overhead constantly is a reminder of that. We have the air show this weekend and our house trembles. Mya is getting used to the noise but it can be pretty loud at times. I hear a few fighter jets at the moment. (Oh great, one is coming toward my house now, so loud!) The snowbirds never fail in awesomeness Had a pretty good summer in spite of the daily reminders that