Painful times....

This past weekend has been nothing short of horrible. It all began with a UTI that was brewing since Monday. I went to my specialist, Dr. Luke, on the Tuesday for a follow up to all my tests and left him a sample to see if I had an infection. It was manageable so I didn't think a whole lot about it until Thursday. I was busy Thursday. Got my hair cut (again). Much shorter so it stays out of my eyes. I got my nails done, meeting a few friends in the salon, so we went out for coffee afterwards. When you get your nails done, you have to show it off in public, right? Tim Hortons was the lucky recipient of our reveal.

So they aren't like the ones pictured maybe this is what I should have had. This would take some major talent on the part of the manicurist. All in all, I was avoiding the inevitable - the pain of a UTI. I had dinner with a good friend that night and we talked until 8 pm. I got home and found out that the doctor had called with a request for my pharmacy for a scrip of antibiotics. I figured I would call again in the morning as it was too late in the evening to call.
That night, the pain began. Not just a little twinge but major, earth shattering pain. I was up all night trying to find a way to ease it by sitting, laying down, heating pad, anything.... Next day I called the specialist - he is off on Fridays!!!!

I call my family doctor and got it. He is also off on holidays but I got the doctor covering for him. I got my antibiotics, thinking that once they kick in, all will be well with the world again. Not so fast! The pain intensified. I don't know how people who live with chronic pain can function. It takes over your entire being. Add that to a sleepless night, I was getting desperate. At 2 am, I woke Ray up (you may call him Saint Ray now) and asked him to bring me to emerge. I was in agony.
I was, thankfully, taken in fairly quickly. I was given painkillers intravenously. Morphine took the edge off it. I had more cat scans done and they found that the ureter (tube from kidney to bladder) was slowly constricting closed. This was only on the right side - the cancerous kidney. They had not noticed it in the July scans (because it wasn't on their radar) but they saw a noticeable change since that scan to now. The tube was deteriorating and closing up, causing me pain. There are several surgical options to fix this. They were going to put a shunt in or possibly go through the back to drain the kidney. I was looking at surgery that night. After reviewing my chart and the placement of the tumour on my kidney, they backed off and said that I should wait until Monday to consult my renal specialist. That was fine but the pain, oh the pain! They gave me percocets to try to cover the pain but after a few hours, they realized they weren't even touching it. They have me a shot in the belly of morphine again. By this time, my speech became hoarse and slurred. I was having vivid dreams. I was high! I've never been a drug user let alone a big drinker.
Sorry, this is not a feeling I enjoyed. It did take the edge of the pain though. Around 2 pm, they decided to send me home with prescriptions for morphine and anti-inflammatorys. I was still in a lot of pain as the previous shot had worn off. The nurses there are just wonderful. She was angry that they were sending me home and told me to come back if the the pain was not manageable. She is one of the sweetest, most empathetic person  have ever met. If anyone knows Krysta, tell her that she is a saint in my books.

Me as a human pin cushion.

I suffered for a few hours and tried to get some sleep but again sleep eluded me. This was night number two with no sleep. St.Ray went to bed to get some sleep but I woke him up at 11 pm (he was sleep deprived too). We decided to call an ambulance because I could not bear the thought of sitting in a waiting room until I would be called in. I was able to be that hallway patient for an hour or so until I was able to get a bed.
It was interesting to overhear the chatter of the paramedics as they sat with their individual patients waiting to get in. It's like a bus driver chat. They hate the new issue clothing as they are stiff and hard to work in. The clothing is sub par and easily rips and wears out. It was like sitting in the driver's room at work. They had a few vehicles sitting in the core once, waiting for calls when they received a call from a some nosy Nora who was angry that they were congregating downtown instead of going out and working. They are waiting for calls, not just sitting around doing nothing and ignoring calls. To placate the caller, they moved to different areas of the city. Again, someone who has no clue what the job entails, dictates what goes on. Ludicrous. We have this with transit too. My thought? Mind your own business people! We had a take down a few days ago in front of City Plaza. Someone wrote in the paper that too many cruisers were attending. Only one was really needed! Again, if you don't know the job, shut up and stay out of it!! That's my rant today! Paramedics are God's hands in action. They deserve every penny they earn and it's not enough. Let them do their jobs and support them. 
I was finally put into a bed and had a doctor go through my meds. He was shocked as he said the prescription I was given was a child's dose. It was no wonder I was still in agony. He put me on several pills including tylenol and advil plus the morphine (higher dose) and all the other pills. I feel like I am on a plastic diet with all the pills but it worked. All the paperwork was sent to my specialist for review and action on Monday morning. St Ray had gone home for a few hours rest while they worked on the pill regiment.

I think all hospitals have the same curtains with the same holes in the mesh. My view for many hours. It was my drug induced brain that pondered these holes in the mesh.

At 4 am, they were satisfied that I was going to be able to function and more important, I felt I could handle it now and they sent me home. I had to call St. Ray out of a deep sleep again for a pick up.
We arrived home and I went into a drug induced sleep for a few hours. The pain woke me up at about 11 so I swallowed a cache of pills again and managed to function. I find I can manage about 5 hours at a time before needing drugs again. The pain is easily a 8 or 9 by this time. I can bring it down to a 2 or 3.
So... long story short, I called Dr. Luke this morning to find out he is on holidays until August 21!! This is crazy! I am seeing my family doctor this afternoon to see what I can do. I can't wait that long ( a week and a day) and I don't know who else to call. I suddenly feel like I am drowning.
Thank you for all the prayers and support. I really need courage right now and and an easing of this pain. Jocelyn sent me a good message today -  Be still and know that God is in control. I really needed to hear that - good reminder. We always want to be in control but sometimes things spin out of our control and we have to let it go. I had hoped to get into Dr. Luke today and get my surgery moved up to fix this ureter and the take out the tumour but that's not going to happen. What we hope would be an easy path has suddenly gotten tough and I have to travel in trust that something can happen soon.