The Travel of Trust

I finished my final cat scan today. It was a little more involved than this cat scan but feel free to get a cat scan done for yourself. A friend sent me that. The scans aren't bad except the IV needle that is put in and then the solution which makes your body feel warm in different areas at different times. Weird feeling. Anyway, testing is all finished. Now comes the hard part - knowing the doctor will have results but I have to wait until August 7 to plot my future. One subject that seems to be taboo is the D word. The elephant in the room and it's one I don't mind to talk about. I do not fear death at all, it's the dying I fear. I read in the obits each day how Great Auntie Bernice died "peacefully" with her family surrounding her. I have been with two people who drew their final breath and it is not peaceful at all. It is a struggle, a sort of drowning as each breath becomes shallower and harder. I don't see the peace but maybe I am wrong. Dying c

I have finished up two days of testing - more to go though. The tests are not vigorous or particularly painful but they are draining. I have been a guest of University Hospital in London for the past two days. This is a first class hospital - home to transplant surgery for the area. Della Reese spent time here after suffering a near fatal brain aneurysm and was operated on by Dr. Drake in this place. This hospital is a teaching hospital affiliated with Western  University. I feel humbled to be treated here and to have a world class doctor taking care of me - Dr. Patrick Luke. I feel like I'm in good hands. I have nothing but high praise for all the staff at this hospital. They have all been very kind, helpful and very reassuring. I stand (or maybe in my case, laying) in amazement, with all the machines, the high tech imaging, the things they can do! I am so thankful this is not what I had to endure this past week. I just can't imagine. Of course, I wouldn't be here i

Today I finished working, for a few weeks at least. I kept thinking that it's that last time, for awhile, that I need to drag myself out of bed by 5 am. Even Mya will look at me sleepily and flops back down again. "You're on your own at this hour! I need more beauty sleep." The early hour has its' advantages though - the traffic is light, the stoplights will usually change in your favour and it's not so hot. It has been a sauna lately!(Tonight's showers have helped some) The sky is just beginning to show the sunrise - the pinks and powder blues are beautiful. It felt strange knowing that I wouldn't be doing this walk again, for a few weeks anyway. Seems all a little surreal. So I finished the day's work and I felt strange. Suddenly, it seems to hit me. Tomorrow the truth begins. I have my first tests (biopsies) at UH in the morning. They tell me it'll take a few hours. They are hoping to get a few samples from different organs and lymph

I was reading online, that the average person spends approximately 6 months of their lives waiting in line for things, it means like 3 days a year of queuing up. The average person spends about 43 days on hold with automated customer service in one lifetime but that would take only one call to Rogers or Bell. 🙄 We spend about 26 years of our lives sleeping (I think I fall short in that area!) This week, I wait, and wait, and wait.... My week of tests begins next week so I try not to think of this uninvited guest growing and spreading in me. I want to get started, get going and find out what is ahead.  I feel like the racer getting limbered up to start a race. Problem is, though, I don't know if this will be a straight race, a race with hurdles, a 100 yard dash, a mile or an obstacle course. I just want to get started. Am I wearing the right shoes to be successful? What will the weather be like?  So many variables.  While I wait, I think...... I was thinking about  the huma

I took the first steps this past week. I followed my mother's example of reduce, reuse, recycle. As kids, she threw out nothing! I think there is still some elastics from 1950 in her drawers. She kept every twist tie, every string, sales receipt - nothing was thrown away. I decided to get my hair cut. The hot weather helped in my decision but before it falls out and gets thrown out, I thought I would get it chopped off and donate it to Locks for Love. I generally do not take selfies but tada - here is the before! They said it should not be more than 5% gray so I wasn't sure if it would meet the criteria. I can blame my kids if it doesn't - they caused the gray - LOL. I know that I might not lose my hair depending on the therapy but that's ok. It sure is cooler with it off my head and in my hands! The hairdresser, Jake from Hair Fantasy, was a little reluctant to cut it but he gathered it into two high braids which made me yearn for a lollipop. He delivered! He snip

Many years ago, I drove a grade eight class to their final class trip to a camp in northern Ontario. It was a three day adventure which included a chance to go on a zip line through the tree tops. I had the chance to try it so hey, why not? I remember being on the platform, all strapped in and ready to go. I suddenly thought "what am I doing up here? I have a life, I have a family, I have to drive a bus back....." I was having a bit of panic attack but I sucked it up and jumped. AAAAHHHHH! Well, I am back on that platform metaphorically and I am going to have to jump and hope that the straps I have in place, will hold me and that it will be a great ride. I am writing a bit of a blog so anyone who wants to follow this journey of jumping off the platform can join me. (I need a name for it yet - sorry, can't come up with a name yet, so for now..) I don't want to bore you to death so feel free to stop reading now, I won't be hurt. If you are expecting a great spir